My son moves to Washington DC in the morning. It isn’t like he is moving to the next town over, (7 minutes away), like his sister did; it is halfway across the continent!
I know other kids have moved away, with their parents pushing them out the door. Either they are stronger than I am, or their kids are not as wonderful as mine is. And mine is wonderful.
He is fun. I guess you could say we are a lot alike, laid back, forgiving, and just fun to be around. Not that I am all that wonderful. But it is a blessing we get along.
You see, he is an “aspie”. He is smart, very smart. He has always been smart, but he has not always been fun to be around. He was what you might call a difficult kid to raise. Asperger’s makes a person unable to understand what other people are thinking and why. It is hard enough for them to control their own feelings, how can they understand everyone else?
There are other enjoyable things to deal with. He was easily frustrated and when he did get frustrated, he would have a “meltdown”. (It is what it sounds like). He figured that one out on his own, thankfully. His psych teacher in high school said he had solved his own problem. Good thing, I never could help with that one.
I did teach him how to tell what someone’s face meant. I sat down with him and showed him different faces and we discussed what they meant. (I enjoyed acting, so I put it to work.) I only had to tell him once, and that seemed to help.
He never had many friends until he hit high school, though a few of his friends from grade school are still among his friend group now. He tried out for a play in his junior year and made a bunch of friends and solidified friendships from choir class. These guys are still hanging around now.
The most important thing my husband and I taught our son was to love Jesus and have a close relationship with Him. His dad was very hands on with that. He taught how science proved God’s existence. That struck home and stayed in his heart.
When you raise a child that you had when you were past 40, was hard to raise, see him through your cancer and his; that can either bring the two of you very close or make you virtual enemies. Thank God, it brought us all close together as a family. And that is what is making this move so hard on this mother. We have a history.
I cannot imagine not having him close enough for a hug when I need one. When he moved out a year ago it was to an apartment 2 blocks away. If I needed him, he was close. Take out the trash, move something in the house, paint the deck, rescue me when I locked my keys in my car.
Thank God for Skype and cell phones. He set up Skype on my new cell phone, and taught me how to use the phone. We are set to communicate across the miles.
I guess when he leaves, I will get busy and do a few things I have wanted to do. Sort stuff. Clean stuff. Create stuff. Finish my genealogy project. Cry a little. Spend more time with my other family members and friends I have neglected since I learned he really was going to move away two months ago.
Tomorrow I go with him to the airport to see him off and try not to cry. I am already crying, so that will be next to impossible. But, he asked a friend of his to drive us and bring me home. Isn’t that just about the sweetest? His friend is going to finish painting the deck too. It is almost done, but hot weather and rain is not a good mixture for painting.
So, tomorrow, I guess I have to grow up, and start a new chapter in my life.
I HATE CHANGE!